January 4, 2011 § Leave a comment
I have luck
The luck of people. The people of fortune that bring grace, brilliance and laughter.
I have freedom
The freedom of a means and, essentially, a will.
I have burdens
More importantly, burdens of my own choosing.
I have love
Love that comes without demand or compromise. The iron in the lifeblood.
I have sorrow
The kind of sorrow that aches like an old wound before the rain, twisted with mistakes, missteps, loss that serves only to remind me what I value the most.
And with all this…
It is only now that I emerge from the opaque chrysalis of youth. Only now that I begin to unfurl the wetly cramped wings, grown especially for flight. I crawled around in the undergrowth… always knowing that I preferred the sky, but didn’t know how to get there. Didn’t even know if I belonged there… and I doubted the longing and frustration that wanted nothing more than to propel me away from every thing everyone else seemed to take for granted.
A few years ago, I chose to withdraw from that life and cut free those strings. Left behind the old fears, formulas, dubious comforts of meeting other people’s expectations.
Now, coming into the wake of my 30th year, I am solid at the core in a way that I’ve never felt before. It’s small, this core. A furnace-forged baton, packed tight and light… straightens my back, lifts my head… flexible, ready for flight.